The Lowdown

Let's start with thinking of health as a state of wellness. We can think of wellness as choices, ways of being and activities that provide balance in our lives that improves our whole self; mind, body and wairua. As we evolve and grow and as our environment changes, our state of wellness may require adjustments. It's helpful to think of a state of wellness as flexible to what WE need WHEN we need. This gives us room to explore and try new practices, connecting with different support and resources.

Everyone has mental health. Mental health is a part of your hauora, it’s the wellness of your mind, your thoughts and how you feel. On any given day, the state of your mental health can be really good, okay, a bit up and down, feeling a bit low or really struggling, and it can change quickly and massively based on all the things that happen in life, both big and little. It’s often complicated because everyone’s experience of it is personal and unique.

Our hauora is not individual. It’s a weaving together of our whānau, our whakapapa, our connection to the world around us and our beliefs. This helps us form an identity that connects us to our past, grounds us in our present and lifts us up to the opportunities our future holds.

It means that we’re a part of something bigger than ourselves, and within this we can find people who care and support, stories that uplift us and help us to feel connected and heard, and a sense of belonging and acceptance of who we are.

Your mental health is closely linked to how you think and feel about yourself and others, how you create and manage relationships and friendships and the ways that you’re able to cope with the ups and downs of emotions that you face in your everyday life.

If you’re feeling good, you might say your mental health is all good right now. If you’re feeling down, anxious or confused, you could say your mental health is struggling or just a bit shitty at the moment.

Sometimes your mental health can be impacted by things that you can’t control. These can include sickness, injuries or other impacts to your physical health, systemic inequalities, the way other people act or treat you, hormones or other chemical changes inside your body, and even the time of year, temperature and weather.

Your mental health doesn’t always stay the same.

There are many factors that impact our mental health and shift the balance between feeling good and feeling down or having a hard time as you move through different stages of your life. These challenges may come and go over time, they may be short or might last for many years. Everyone’s experience is unique and different from everybody else and can be heavily impacted by things like your culture, your family and your identity. You might be able to bounce back from a tough experience while someone else may feel weighed down by it for a long time and both of these responses are normal.

The one thing you always need to remember that you’re never alone in what you’re facing. People care about you and want you to be ok, and they may have a better understanding of how you’re feeling than you realise.

Positive mental health is often connected to having a sense of purpose, knowing who we are, being able to do the things that matter to us and feeling connected to others. This is linked to resilience, which is having positive ways to deal with your feelings, recover from things that impact you and enjoy life even when things are hard.

It’s important to know, though, that having positive mental health overall doesn’t mean you’re excluded from experiencing mental distress.

A great resource to assist with this is the 'Five Ways of Wellbeing' from the Mental Health Foundation 

If you’re thinking about harming yourself or are having suicidal thoughts, 

to talk to someone who cares and can support you.

You may hear the words ‘mental health’ being thrown around a lot in conversations, in the news or on social media. The thing is, you might not know what that means exactly. No worries, we’re here to help.

Mental health is a critical part of your overall wellbeing , but what does that actually mean? Get informed about mental health with The Lowdown Aotearoa. 

Understanding Mental Health | The Lowdown Aotearoa

What is Mental Health?

In the middle of the day, a man sits on a chair in front of a pond, staring directly at the camera. Holding his hands over his chest in an emotive way.

Mana Pasifika

Expressing ourselves is one way that we are able to reimagine our Wellbeing together. A creative piece written by Grace Iwashita-Taylor, performed by Allister Ngawati-Salaivao with music from Brandon Haru.

Expressing ourselves is one way that we are able to reimagine our wellbeing together. Enjoy a creative piece written by Grace Iwashita-Taylor and performed by All-star Ngawati-Salaivao with music by Brandon Haru.

Mana Pasifika: Wellbeing Reimagined | The Lowdown Aotearoa 

Wellbeing Reimagined

My wellbeing meets the world shifting
tilting, flips me sideways into unknown waters
confronts the rupturing, to known surroundings
throws me headfirst into a knowingness
My wellbeing has hard conversations
that bite the tongue of truth
heavy chest, betraying controlled breaths
a collection of rejections wet on my cheeks
My wellbeing is resilient
My wellbeing don’t need to prove nothing
Responds to indigenous healing
as a cup of tea after a mirimiri
Requires rest, needs a gentle place to rest its head
curls up in loved ones comfort
reimagines itself in the eye of the storm
is a world unbreaking itself
to re-remembering
My wellbeing is rebuilding balance
is Hauora
bravely finds all the scattered pieces
then raises its hand to ask for help
turns the bruising into a journey of healing
bold and brave 
and sometimes hard, but is learning
I am so much more than my hurt
My wellbeing breaks into generational trauma
knowing it is a taonga
to be passed down to my children’s children
is part of my nafa, whakapapa
My wellbeing maintains my whakapapa
is worthy, is seen, is loved
my wellbeing is love
is love reimagined
my wellbeing is your wellbeing
is reimagined wellbeing together
He tirohanga anamata

A boy with two sides, one wrapped in barbed wire with a raincloud over his head, the other with a Pacific necklace and a teardrop on his cheek. 

Anxiety happens when your brain thinks there might be something it needs to protect you from, even if there is no threat or danger. You might have felt like this when you had to talk in front of your class, before a try-out, during quiz/exam time or before a performance. Sometimes it can happen for no reason at all.

Even if anxiety is an uncomfortable feeling, it serves a purpose.

You could think about it like a smoke alarm. When a room fills with smoke, the smoke alarm doesn’t know where it’s coming from – it could be a house fire or it could just be the toaster! Either way, its sensors are triggered, the alarm goes off and makes everyone jump into action.

Your anxiety works the same way – your brain is saying something is wrong and it doesn’t know what, but it starts to react anyway and your body’s reactions are activated. When this is happening, your body is surging with a mix of chemicals designed to make you stronger, faster, more alert and more powerful so you can take the action your body needs to survive.

At times your anxiety may trigger something called the fight, flight or freeze response, where your brain tells you to protect yourself by fighting back, running away or freezing and trying not to stand out. This is normal and healthy and everyone has it, but when there is no danger you need to protect yourself from, the chemical fuel that is surging through you starts to build up and make you feel uncomfortable – you may get sweaty, shaky, feel tired, queasy or short of breath or feel your heart beating faster.

A bit of anxiety can be helpful, it can make you think more about the situation you’re in, and can motivate you to get things done or do your best. Most anxiety usually settles once the stressful situation has passed. When anxiety is at this level, you don’t need to do anything except focus on getting through the situation - these anxious thoughts and feelings will probably go away once it’s over.

If you need some practical ways to help you cope with these feelings, check out 

Anxiety is only a problem when you can’t cope with it - when those feelings get 

 that they stop you from doing things in your everyday life and make you feel miserable. If you find yourself at this point, it’s time to reach out for help. Start by talking to someone you trust about how you’re feeling, or reach out to 

Anxiety disorders occur when your anxiety takes over your life and stops you from doing things. They are diagnosed by a mental health professional, and can occur in different forms.

Getting a diagnosis is really important as once you know what kind of anxiety you have, you and your support team (your therapist or other mental health professional and other trusted people in your life) can work out a plan to treat it and help you recover.

 is when you feel anxious and worry heaps about everyday things, like “Was what I said in the group chat weird, are they going to think there’s something wrong with me?”or “I’m going to screw up in next week’s exam, I just can’t do it. It’s going to ruin my future”. You may find yourself replaying what’s stressing you over and over in your head and feel like you can’t let it go. You might be really hard on yourself about being perfect, fitting in and doing everything well. For some people, feelings of anxiety might become so overwhelming it can affect you physically.

Many people are also now struggling with 

. This is really common since the beginning of the pandemic, and is usually focused around feeling scared of catching covid or of passing it on to someone else, to the point where it’s dominating your thoughts and making you afraid to go out, to be in busy places or be near other people. Due to all the time we’ve spent at home and avoiding other people over the last few years, even if you’re not specifically scared of catching covid, you still might feel anxious and overwhelmed in public places and when someone gets in your personal space.

Some people with covid anxiety may experience 

, when your brain focuses in on what’s making you anxious so intensely that you start to panic and feel physical symptoms. If you think you have been experiencing anxiety attacks, head to 

 and practice the Deep Breathing and Muscle Relaxation techniques you’ll find there, and use them next time you think an anxiety attack is coming on. A mental health professional can also help you learn to control your anxiety attacks and reach a point where they no longer happen.

Another common type of anxiety disorder is 

. This can take over when you meet new people, have to speak in class, make phone calls or other situations where someone’s attention is on you.

Your fear of talking to strangers, having people stare at you, potentially embarrassing yourself or just having a conversation with someone you’re not comfortable with can be so intense that you can start avoiding these situations and not want to interact with other people.

 are a fear or anxiety that’s about something specific – like if you’re intensely scared of spiders, the dark or being in small spaces. These might sound harmless (and they often are) but for the person with the phobia it’s really tough. Most people who experience phobias aren’t harmed by them but if it starts to get in the way of living your life, you need to talk to someone you trust and ask them for help. 

However your anxiety feels, if this excessive worry gets in the way of your life, doesn’t go away or has physical effects on your body, that’s a sign that you should tell someone you trust about how you’re feeling and ask them for help. If you’re willing to see your doctor or a mental health professional, they can help you find ways to manage and eventually overcome your anxiety.

You’re not alone in what you’re feeling. Heaps of people experience anxiety and everyone finds it a tough thing to face. 

can take time and you’ll have some good and bad days, but managing and overcoming your anxiety is definitely possible.

It’s important to note that sometimes the person you talk to may not offer you the help and support you need, but don’t give up there. Try again with someone else. 

You are important, your experience is valid and just because someone doesn’t listen or give you the help you need doesn’t mean what you’re facing isn’t real.

If you don’t feel like you have anyone to talk to, try calling 

 to talk to someone who cares and can offer you support.

We all get stressed or anxious sometimes. It’s a very common and normal feeling that everyone experiences at different levels during different times in their lives.

Feeing anxious is common and a normal experience, but it can be overwhelming at times. Learn how to cope with anxiety at The Lowdown Aotearoa. 

Dealing with Anxiety | The Lowdown Aotearoa

Anxiety

Three guys are huddling in front of a triangle with golden Pacific patterns. In the middle of the triangle are two hands shaking. 

Having good friendships is really important to our happiness. It helps us to feel secure in our lives, gives us someone to talk to about whatever is on our mind, and gives us special people to hang out with and enjoy the things we like to do together. They can be someone you can talk to about the things you can’t share with anyone else – not even your family. A good friend is someone who’s there for you when you need support, and that’s important to have in your life.

One of the easiest way to find potential new friends is to think about the people who already exist in your wider life. Think friends of friends, the people you know at school but don’t really hang out with, or your sports teammates.

Try and identify a few of these people who you like and would want to be friends with, and follow them on Instagram, TikTok or Snapchat. Over the next little while, start engaging with their stories and content. If something they’ve posted is cool, give it a like. Try responding to one of their stories with a positive message or a question, and see if they engage with that – it could turn into a conversation.

If they respond to you in a friendly way, keep it up – try and start conversations about things they’re posting about, and from there, see if you can keep those conversations going into other topics.

You could say something like “Hey, have you seen Demon Slayer? I can’t wait for the new season!” and if they have, ask them another question related to the topic. If they haven’t, then ask them what they are into and see if there’s something else there you can connect on.

It can take time to build a connection with someone and it won’t always work – not everyone will be a good fit for you as a friend and not everyone will have room in their life or even want to be your friend, but that’s ok. Just like you probably know some people who just aren’t your type of person, you’re not going to be everyone else’s type and if you can recognise that that’s ok, it might save you feeling hurt unnecessarily. Don’t give up trying!

At times, too, you may lose friendships. This can be painful and make you question yourself and the relationship you had, but remember that friendships have seasons and many of the connections you find yourself developing with others aren’t meant to last. When you’re at a certain stage of your life you might connect really well with someone, but over time you both move on and grow in yourselves, you have less in common or less to say to each other, and find new friends. That’s ok.

It’s normal to feel sad and even grieve when you realise you’re not close with a former friend anymore, but try to think of the relationship as a positive thing in your life that you’re glad you got to enjoy, and now as you’ve grown, it’s time to look forward to what’s coming next.

Finding good friends to start with is really tough - especially ones you can trust and who help you see the best in yourself. Friends will come and go in your life but the really good ones stick with you and stick up for you no matter what.

It’s important to remember that you – exactly as you are – are enough and you are awesome. You don’t need to change yourself to make other people like you, and if your friends want you to change who you are and what you like in order to fit in, they may not be a positive part of your life. Stick to your values and don’t let a friend’s opinion change your identity and what you believe in.

That’s not to say you shouldn’t try to grow as a person though! At times our friends can help us become more aware of areas in which we could do better, and that’s a good thing. Just keep an eye on how they’re influencing you and whether the changes you make are making you feel like a happier, more evolved version of yourself or whether you’re starting to feel disconnected from yourself and your roots.

 - It is important not to trust people too easily, so take your time and make sure you know who someone really is before you fully trust them. If you make an online friend, ask them to video chat with you to confirm who they are. If they give you a lot of excuses and don’t want to, that’s a red flag and you need to be very careful about how you interact with them.

If you’re being asked for money or find yourself having to pay for everything when you’re out together, that’s a big red flag and you should re-evaluate that friendship and whether the person is taking advantage of you.

If you’re more introverted than others, it can be especially hard because putting yourself out there in new situations and talking to people you don’t know well can feel scary, stressful and exhausting. Reaching out and connecting with others, however, is the best way to resolve that gap in your life where you’re needing a friend.

If you find in-person interactions tough, it’s ok to use the internet to connect with new people as long as you’re safe. Instagram, Discord, Snapchat and other internet forums and social media platforms give us a place to meet people without the pressure of an in-person conversation or busy environment. Just be careful to make safe choices and never meet someone from the internet in person without bringing a buddy, and never share personal details like your address with someone until you’re sure you know who they are and that you can trust them.

It’s not all easy though, even the best friendships can also be difficult. We’re all different, unique people, so it’s natural that you’re not going to agree on everything. Even best mates have their ups and downs and sometimes they just don’t get you.

Problems with friends are normal. Everyone goes through it. But if your friends are giving you crap all the time, or they’re not accepting you for who you are or listening to what you have to say, it can start to affect the way you feel about yourself.

If you’re feeling like your friends don’t care about you, take a step back and think about why. Are they just really busy right now, or are they dealing with their own problems? Have you grown apart? Maybe they’re really just not being present with you, when you hang out?

It could be that your mates just aren’t the kind of people you need them to be. You can tell if someone is being a caring and present friend to you by looking at the actions they take –both big and small – that show they care.

If they’re talking behind your back in ways that hurt you, leaving you out of things, or saying unkind things to you then this is bullying. Yes, bullying can even come from the people you see as your friends.

Friendships can come in a variety of shapes and forms. You might have a close group of mates, a few individual friends who don’t really know each other, or even just one bestie. You might see them every day at school, once a week at practice, live close to each other or live in different countries and talk online.

However often you see your mates, continue to check in with yourself and your friends around whether your friendship is working for you both or not. Different people have different needs, and while one friend might need heaps of time to hang out, and others may just want to catch up every now and then.

But how do you tell if a friendship is positive?

Telling the truth, even when it can be hard to. You’re both open and honest about who you are when you’re with each other.

Building each other up, encouraging each other to live your best lives and wanting to see each other achieve.

Genuinely caring about each other. Being kind, respectful and not judging despite what’s going on in your lives.

Sticking with each other even when you make mistakes.

Understanding each other’s unique differences and not trying to change each other.

It’s important to remember that friends sometimes hurt each other, but you can always apologize and forgive. Sometimes it might be hard to swallow your pride, but it’s worth it to keep that person in your life.

In contrast, sometimes there are people who we think are our friends, but they actually don’t really care about us as much as they appear to. We need to be careful when having a friendship with these people as they can hurt us or cause problems in our lives.

A friend who is having a negative impact on you might be:

Not wanting you to spend time with your other friends or meet new people

Not willing to compromise in disagreements

Encouraging you to do things that might harm you or get you in trouble

If you think you have friends like this, it may be time to create some distance. Ending any friendship is never easy, but by choosing to see them less and creating space between you, it will allow you to take the time to see if the friendship is truly right for you.

Having good friends is important, but it’s also important to be a good friend to yourself. Be the type of ideal friend that you want to have, and people will be drawn to you and enjoy spending time with you.

When you’re trying to figure out who you are, your friends will play a big part. Think of your close friends and your family as your mirrors. It’s not always easy, but the best thing you can do is be true to yourself. That way when you’re around your friends, the reflection of yourself that you see back from them will be someone you admire, and not someone you don’t like.

If you’re finding that your friendships – or lack of them – is having an impact on your mental health, or you want to talk through any worries about friendships that you have, reach out to a trusted adult or mental health professional and share with them how you’re feeling. They can help you to navigate difficult situations and relationships and ensure that your mental health is supported.

Learn to navigate friendships and build strong, supportive relationships with The Lowdown Aotearoa.

Navigating Friendships | The Lowdown Aotearoa 

Friendships

A boy is split in half; one half is at school with a heavy backpack full of books, and the other half is at the rugby field with a heavy bag full of rugby gear. 

There are probably lots of things on your mind right now. Will I fit in? Will there be more work? More pressure? What about exams? Will I have friends in my class? What if I don’t remember where to go? 

It’s totally OK to feel nervous. It’s 

 going from being in an environment you’re comfortable and familiar with to somewhere new.

Your first year of high school can take you by surprise in both positive and negative ways. Here are some things you can expect, to help you mentally prepare for the experience:

You’ll be learning across a wide range of subjects – many of these you’ll be able to choose yourself. This gives you opportunities to really focus on what you enjoy or what will help you achieve the career you want.

You’ll work with different teachers in different classrooms throughout the day. Everything may seem much more unfamiliar because of this but you will soon get to know your teachers and classrooms just like you do now.

You’ll be more independent and responsible for managing your own timetable – this will be more complex than before but you’ll get used to it in no time.

You may have some awesome new extra-curricular activities like sports and clubs to consider joining. These are great ways to make new friends!

Most high schools hold an orientation day before school actually starts. Make sure you attend if you can, so you can get a tour of your new school – this way you know what you’re facing and will have more confidence for your first day. You might even be able to spark new friendships with other people who are feeling just as nervous and excited as you are.

To help things go a little smoother on your first day, you could try a few things like:

Find out if there is anyone you know going to the same school and see if you can catch up

Try to have an early night and a well-rested sleep the night before

Visit the school before you start or study your campus map so you know how to find your way around

Make sure you have all your books and stationery, pack your bag and lay out your uniform the night before

Even if you get off to a bad start, don’t over think it - you’ll settle in soon and find where you feel comfortable, your crew or a way you enjoy expressing yourself.

There’s no denying that there are challenges and hurdles that lie ahead as you adjust to new environments, connections and classes, but these changes are mostly positive and you’ll find yourself a wiser, more capable person because of them.

If you’re really struggling to adjust to your new school, things just aren’t getting any easier or you feel like you can’t bear to face each day, reach out to someone you trust or your school counsellor and talk to them about how you’re feeling.

Starting a new school or level of education is exciting, but it also might be stressful and feel pretty weird and unfamiliar to you. You’re not alone in this – most of the people in your class are probably feeling or have felt the same way. 

Starting a new school or level of education can be exciting, but also overwhelming. The Lowdown Aotearoa is here to help you navigate this transition with ease and confidence. 

Starting School | The Lowdown Aotearoa

Starting School

A person's body from the neck down is sitting in a skateboarding rink with their backpack in front of the Sky Tower. In the skateboarding rink, there is graffiti with the words "stressed," "lost," "pressure," and "freedom."

You may be going on to secondary study. You may not have wanted to leave school but have had to get a job to support your whānau. You may have decided further study isn’t for you or isn’t accessible and are heading into the workforce. For whatever reason you’re leaving, just remember that this does not define who you are or determine your long-term future.

It can be a scary and daunting, leaving familiar environments. For the first time, you may find yourself suddenly in full time work or you may be off to uni in a whole new city or environment with new responsibilities.

You might feel pressure brought on by expectations from your parents or caregivers, your relatives or your teachers to go and study or to get a job.

You might also be worried or down because you’ll be leaving friends and things that you know behind. This sense of loss is normal. Just remember, there was a time when school was new and scary too. You’ll get used to whatever’s next, just give it some time.

There are a lot of other things you may have to navigate too, such as:

Living independently for the first time with less whānau support

Developing new relationships with flatmates, work colleagues, lecturers etc.

Heading into a workplace with strict rules or guidelines and expectations on your performance

Moving from a more casual school environment to a professional workplace

Financial worries – you might suddenly need to have enough income to cover your food and living costs, transport and rent, and you may need to get yourself set up with a student loan.

Anxiety over future career options – many people don’t know what they want to do yet when they leave school, and that’s stressful!

Remember that it’s normal to feel anxious about what comes next, but that you’ll adapt quickly. To help you get ahead, do some research online and create a plan, think about where you would like to be in the next 2-5 years’ time and how you’re going to get there. Ask for advice on your next steps from someone you trust, or see your school’s careers advisor or guidance counsellor. It’s also ok just to take it one day at a time – you don’t have to have it all together.

If you haven’t decided what you want to do, there are a lot of options to consider:

You could sign up for an apprenticeship or traineeship

 – this is a great option if you want a valuable, hands-on skill that earns money while you learn. 

Head here to find out more info and how to sign up to an apprenticeship.

You could skip study for now and get a job

 – this may be what you want, but in many low income families this may also be the expected option for you. If this is you but you’re dreaming of doing more, don’t give up – you may still be able to create a plan that will get you to where you want to be. 

Head here to work through some of the steps around heading into the workforce.

You might want to take a gap year, work and experience life as an adult then jump into study when you have a clearer idea of what you want to do. If you’re taking this option, remember to plan out your gap year and have an accountability buddy/partner to support you in sticking to your plans. You don’t want to take a gap life!

 – you may want to go on a trip and experience the world, or maybe you’re keen to study overseas.

 – you could go to University or your local Polytech. You may feel that this isn’t an option for you, especially if your family is pressuring you to get a job or you don’t have much money. There is support that may help you to study regardless of these pressures, so check out the 

 to learn more about what might be possible, or talk to your school guidance counsellor or careers advisor.

A lot of people think choosing a career path after leaving school is set in stone, but it’s really not. If you change your mind, you can change what you want to do at any point. You can always go back to study, change your degree or job or do another apprenticeship or traineeship at any point in your life.

Remember, every journey is different, don't worry about what anyone else thinks or is doing, focus on what feels right for you.

If you’re struggling with the pressures of leaving school and it’s making you feel overwhelmed and down, talk to someone you trust about how you’re feeling and ask them for help.

Leaving school means leaving your comfort zone. It’s a big time in your life and you’re probably deal with a lot of mixed feelings and emotions.

Leaving school can be an exciting but challenging time in your life. The Lowdown Aotearoa offers support and advice for rangatahi as they navigate life after school. 

Navigating Leaving School | The Lowdown Aotearoa

Leaving School

It's normal to feel anxious sometimes, but if you're finding it hard to cope, it's important to talk to someone about how you're feeling. Find support, connect and learn on the Lowdown. 

#Anxiety

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