Te kore, Te po, Te ao Marama by Ivy Lyden-Hancy

The Lowdown

In Te kore, Te po, Te ao Marama, 17-year-old poet Ivy Lyden-Hancy's words speak to her identity as a wahine Māori in a changing world. Surrounded by the lasting impacts of colonisation, Ivy paints a picture of the Aotearoa that was, and that one day could be.

In Te kore, Te po, Te ao Marama, poet Ivy Lyden-Hancy's words speak to her identity as a wahine Māori in a changing world.

Te kore, Te po, Te ao Marama - Ivy Lyden-Hancy | The Lowdown Aotearoa

Te kore, Te po, Te ao Marama - Ivy Lyden-Hancy

i walk through concrete rivers 
Wairoa lingering through powerlines
surrounded by rakau 
which has been manufactured 
manipulated 
into the warmth of one’s home 
many homes 
white picket fences and 
sky tower brown 

as i look up to pukekiwiriki 
laying at the sickle of this maunga 
i imagine i am my tupuna
our tangata from before
surrounded by rakau of lush forests 
While melodies of te manu engulf me in its mana 
While wahine moving through grub and fern 
stripping the white man's grass off all infinite crossways 
i replace it with kowhai 
                                  pohutakawa 
                   kauri
pikopiko
all things Māori 

to be Māori is to imagine aotearoa before colonisation 
to be grounded amongst papa 
amongst the kumara pits
their flagstaff will fall 
a tohu that we have taken our whenua back 
our tikanga 
our tangata
holy hands of concrete statues will reach out to me 
amongst the rubble
 they will speak reo pakeha 
a constant reminder of what they have taken from us 

in that we will remove the ink of our ta moko
unbury the mass graves 
remove our taonga from the museums 
reclaim our reo 

they will be at the end of our pū
our rangatira behind us on the path they have paved 
tapu tinana 
tapu wairoa 
aotearoa te tapu whenua 
amene

Ever since she was a young child Callida knew she was different to everybody else in her life, but for years she didn't understand what that meant for her. Watch the video to hear Callida share her journey, beginning as a rangatahi, toward understanding and owning her identity as a proud trans wāhine.

Join Callida on her journey towards self-discovery and owning her identity as a proud trans wāhine.

Manioro: Callida's Story | The Lowdown Aotearoa 

Callida's Story

Arataua Media 

We travel down the path to self-love this episode of AI. Our panellists kōrero whare tapawhā, self-care methods and techniques and more. Māori & Pasifika business owner Arby Manukau talk more to the subject, sharing her personal journey, what self-love means and advice to others on doing the inner work. 

Our panellists discuss where tapawhā, self-care methods and techniques. Arby Manukau, a Māori & Pasifika business owner, shares her personal journey and advice on doing the inner work. 

Let's Talk about Ai: Self Love | The Lowdown Aotearoa 

Let's Talk about Ai - Self Love 

We kōrero all things pēpi! From baby making songs, to being hāpu to parenthood and big responsibilities. Our panellists are joined by Māori midwife Tawera Trinder who tohatohas more about her mahi and delves deeper into tradional Māori birthing practices, lullabys and gives advice for first time expecting parents. 

Join our panellists and Māori midwife Tawera Trinder as they discuss traditional Māori birthing practices, lullabies and offer advice for first-time expecting parents.

Let's Talk about Ai: Hurō! We’re Having a Pēpi! | The Lowdown Aotearoa

Let's Talk about Ai - Hurō! We’re Having a Pēpi!

If you’re struggling with relationships this episode might help. Special guest Kiri Waititi joins us for a kōrero, sharing her wealth of knowledge afters years of being a psychologist. She breaks down healthy and unhealthy relationships, gives us tips and advice on how to better connect with a partner and a guideline on how to place boundaries. 



Struggling with relationships? In this episode, psychologist Kiri Waititi shares her wealth of knowledge on healthy and unhealthy relationships, tips on how to better connect with a partner and guidelines on setting boundaries. 

Let's Talk about Ai: Relationships | The Lowdown Aotearoa 

Let's Talk about Ai - Relationships 

Did you know we’re actually in a Syphillis epidemic here in Aotearoa? Our panellists take time to kōrero about all the important stuff you need to know in order to keep yourself safe. 

Join our panel as they discuss the ongoing Syphillis epidemic in Aotearoa and share important information on how to protect yourself. From syptoms to treatment options, this episode of Let's Talk About Ai is a must-watch for anyone seeking to stay informed about sexual health. 

Let's Talk About Ai: Syphilis | The Lowdown Aotearoa 

Let's Talk about Ai - Syphilis 

Our panellists break down sexual orientation on this episode of AI. And, with the help of special guest Te Rangitutaki Rolleston we learn about pronouns, how to be come a good ally and some helpful tips to help our e hoas.

Our panellists break down sexual orientation with the help of special guest Te Rangitutaki Rolleston. Learn about pronouns, how to be a good ally and tips for supporting our e hoas.

Let's Talk about Ai: Sexual Orientation | The Lowdown Aotearoa 

Let's Talk about Ai - Sexual Orientation

A ship came into harbour with indigenous sex narratives before colonisation. Our panellists sit down with Tiana Griffin, educator by day and cock and culture owner by night. She shares her knowledge about indigenous ways of thinking about sex, monogamous relationships, cultural revitalisation for ai and her top three tips for decolonising our sex lives. 

Let's Talk about Ai - Traditional Narratives

It’s all about AI this episode. We get to talking fanny flutters, sex toys and find out who on our panel is a giver or reciever. We connect with Terri Ewart, somatic therapist/educator who shares with us interesting facts and figures around foreplay, trauma and tips to have a better sex. 

On this episode of Ai, our panellists discuss fanny flutters, sex toys and foreplay. Somatic therapist/educator Terri Ewart shares interesting facts and figures and offers tips for better sex.

Let's Talk about Ai - AI 2-0 | The Lowdown Aotearoa 

Let's Talk about Ai - AI 2-0 

There is a lot to unpack on this episode of AI. Tahu earns the title of finger expert and our panellists get to kōrero love languages, red flags and seperation. Special guest Anihera Tahu-Hepworth joins the discussion pool and gives us advice on how to identify toxic relationships, tools and tips for leaving or repairing toxic relationships and the importance of self-love.

Let's Talk about Ai - Toxic Relationships

Pere shows us his vagina moulding talents, we address insecurities and hear some thought provoking insights from our Rangatahi Talks around self-love, body positivity and shame. Talented wāhine Awatea Wihongi also meets with us this episode to kōrero about her experience growing up, confidence building advice and shares more details about her song "Huraina”.

In this episode, we explore the topic of insecurities with some thought provoking insights from our Rangatahi Talks around self-love, body positivity and shame.

Let's Talk About Ai: Insecurities | The Lowdown Aotearoa 

Let's Talk about Ai - Insecurities 

The team has a kōrero all about consent. Our anonymous confession of the episode has a happily ever after ending, consent assumptions are debunked and body language is explained. We were also fortunate enough to have wāhine toa Whaea Moe Milne, who has years of experience and a wealth of knowledge, join us and share her thoughts on sacred sex, tapu and body divinity. 

In this episode, the team discusses consent and debunks assumptions around it. Anonymous confessions, body language and sacred sex are also explores. Special guest Whaea Moe Milne shares her thoughts on tapu and body divinity. 

Let's Talk about Ai: Tiakina To Tapu | The Lowdown Aotearoa 

Let's Talk about Ai - Tiakina To Tapu 

Sex can still be a tapu subject to talk about for some. Ai - Let's Talk About Sex follows a panel of Māori from all walks of life in Aotearoa who share their indigenous perspectives, unravel lived experiences and kōrero about sex and related topics in hope of normalising sexual health talk for rangatahi so you can connect, learn, and express yourself.

Break the taboo on talking about sex and learn about indigenous perspectives on sexual health with our group of Māori panelists. 

Let's Talk About Ai | The Lowdown Aotearoa 

Let's Talk about Ai

Our panellists get creative and show us their favourite sex positions (made out of play dough of course!). We get to kōrero all things pornography with Martin Cocker, CEO of Netsafe, who shares with us how rangatahi can watch porn safely, tools and advice if you are a victim of revenge porn and much more.

Let's Talk about Ai - Porn

Our team of panellists kōrero about sexual health. They get into specifics - from STIs to STDs and explore the stigma associated with getting check-ups. We also catch up with Anatola Finau, founder of Brown Girls Have Sex Too who offers some sound advice on the subject for rangatahi.

Our panel dives into sexual health, exploring the stage around getting check-ups, STIs and STDs. Special guest Anatola Finau, founder of Brown Girls Have Sex Too, offers sound advice on the subject for rangatahi. 

Let's Talk about Ai: Sexual Health | The Lowdown Aotearoa 

Let's Talk about Ai - Sexual Health 

Our first anonymous confession at the table prompts our group of panellists to discuss how comfortable they are talking about sex with their parents, friends, and whānau. They go down a rabbit hole, delving into religion, colonialism and Takatāpui and how they’ve influenced today’s thinking and conversations about ai. 

Let's Talk about Ai - Me Wānanga Tātou

A person is looking up. They're made up of different words, drawings, and island flags to form their facial and body features.

Your identity is shaped by many different factors:

The way you look – skin colour, body shape, hair, eyes, height, sex characteristics etc.

Your gender identity and gender expression

Your ethnicity – your family and where they come from, where you were born, where you have lived and where you live now, your languages and your accent.

Your culture – your customs, practices and world views 

Your beliefs – your religion, morals and what matters to you.

What you do – how you express yourself creatively, what you do for work, how you like to live, exercise, have fun and relax.

Your dreams – who you want to be and what you want to do.

What you think about yourself has a big impact on the way you feel about life. Your identity holds importance because it gives you a sense of purpose and belonging. It impacts the way you think, the words you use, what matters to you, your actions and your relationships with others.

Sometimes you can also lose sight of your identity. Perhaps people have attached labels to you that differ from how you see yourself. Maybe your family hold certain expectations of you around what career you choose or what religious beliefs you must hold.

Maybe your gender or sexuality is different to others around you, and it’s difficult to tell people about your experiences or find friends who can help you understand key pieces of your identity.

Perhaps you just realise that who you saw yourself as previously doesn’t feel like you anymore. That’s pretty common too.

It’s important to remember that this is just a stage of your life, and over time you will become confident in yourself again. These changes can also be really positive for us so it might be helpful to see this period as an evolution of who you are, becoming closer to your ultimate self.

Sometimes parts of who you are may feel like they’re in conflict with each other.

This is completely normal – it sucks, but it’s okay to feel that way and it’s also okay to take your time in exploring how you can introduce who you are as a whole into certain parts of your life. 

You don’t have to fix or change yourself for anyone and you don’t have to hide who you are unless you want to.

This is your journey and you can take it at your own pace – you get to decide when, how and with whom you share your full authentic self.

If you’re struggling with your identity, it can be really tough on your mental health. It’s important to not struggle with this alone, so reach out to someone you trust to talk about how you’re feeling so that they can support you.

If you’re thinking about harming yourself or are having suicidal thoughts, 

to talk to someone who cares and can support you.

Identity is at the core of who you are as an individual and as a member of groups in society. Your identity is unique and fluid – who you are now may be different to who you are tomorrow, next year and in your future. It can also be incredibly confusing. It can take a long time to figure out who you feel you are, and you may find yourself finding and then feeling like you have lost your identity many times through your life. 

Your identity is unique and can change over time. Discover more about who you are and how to navigate the complexities of your identity with The Lowdown Aotearoa.

Exploring Your Identity | The Lowdown Aotearoa

Your Identity

The logo of the Sounds of La Salle band with various musical instruments in the background.

Mana Pasifika

The boys from Sounds of La Salle create a powerful track around reaching out and checking in on our brothers to make sure they are ok. Written and performed by the Sounds of La Salle band.

The boys from Sounds of La Salle create a powerful track on reaching out and checking in our brothers to make sure they're okay. 

Mana Pasifika: "Dear Brother" - SOLS | The Lowdown Aotearoa 

"Dear Brother" - SOLS

Hey Uce
I know you find it hard to speak
thinking this act of speaking up will only make you weak
Kaukala mai 
I know we were taught to be strong
And I mean all affection implanted into this song
I'm here for you
E ui iga kigā lau faku
I just can't stand to see you hurt 
Kaumafai gagā magakau
I know you're feenin and you're feeling for some love 
So you keep dreaming uce 
I've seen it in your tears there's so much pain
Kakou ola ma le magakau e fu’e I kakou le fusipau 
If we ever decided to let it rain, 
but I'm just sayin
I love you uce and I don’t want you hurting yourself
As this facade of being strong only hurts your mental health
But take your time uce
Take all the time and space you need
Just text up when you're ready.
I see you sitting there
Catching your tear drops in your hands
Hiding behind that mask
Crying out when will this all end
You don’t have to struggle in silence
You’re more stronger than you seem
We can both get through this temporary suffering
At every tunnel's end
Just know that there is light 
Know that you got a friend
Just know that everything will be alright
Alright
You don’t have to struggle in silence
You’re more stronger than you seem
We can both get through this temporary suffering 
You don’t have to struggle in silence
You’re more stronger than you seem
We can both get through this temporary suffering 
You don’t have to struggle in silence
You’re more stronger than you seem
We can both get through this temporary suffering 
You don’t have to struggle in silence
You’re more stronger than you seem
We can both get through this temporary suffering 
At every tunnel's end
Just know that there is light 
Know that you got a friend
Just know that everything will be alright
Alright

Manutioriori in her room, smiling, with a bunch of photos and bright artwork around her.

When you feel down, it might feel easier to push those feelings away. Manutioriori shares with us her journey and a gentle reminder that you don't have to deal with them alone. 

Join Manutioriori as she shares her journey and reminds us that we don't have to deal with our feelings alone. 

Manutioriori's Story Part 1 | The Lowdown Aotearoa 

Manutioriori's Story - Part 1

I didn’t notice things building up. 
But if I look back at it, everything started in intermediate. 
Intermediate was rough. 
Bullying is something that is normalised in our country. 
You can put signs that say bullying is wrong or say “stop it I don’t like it”, but what does that really even help. 
I was bullied by someone I grew up with through primary and intermediate.
I don’t know what made her do it, but I kind of felt betrayed because she was someone I really trusted. 
During the same time that all of this was happening my parents were going through a divorce.
But because I was only young, I didn’t really comprehend the situation. 
I did see how much it hurt the rest of my siblings though. 

When it did end up being just me and the kids.
I learnt very early on that if I couldn’t be open and honest with them about what was going on in my world,
which was affecting their world, we were never going to be okay. 
I actually sat them all down and had that conversation with them about the fact that their father had gone 
and that he wasn’t coming back.
Because it was the only thing I knew to do. 
So, in amongst everything that we’ve done and all the things we’ve been through, that’s the only thing that I could ever do was just talk or try and get them to talk.
But when they stop talking to you, that’s when it gets really hard.
Because when they’re not talking, you don’t know how they’re feeling and you don’t know what more you can do to try and pull them back up.

Even though I didn’t properly comprehend the divorce, I was disappointed with my dad.
He wasn’t around as much as I wanted him to be, mainly because he wasn’t in stable accommodation. 
The relationship I had with my dad started to fade because I was upset with him. 
In my head I was thinking “why now?” why does he want to be a part of our lives now, because it seems like he’s trying more now than when he lived under our roof. 

With Manutioriori, I think looking back I think that there were definitely signs when her – me and her father separated. 
Slowly but surely the signs were getting more and more obvious.
But she talks more about when her grandfather – who was her father’s father passed away. 

Highschool came around, I made new friends, I settled in pretty well. 
It was actually better than I expected.
And then boom, koro passed away.
It felt like everything started falling apart.
I had lost the mana Māori person that I looked up to and adored. 
My grandfather was the type of person that loved his grandkids more than anything. 
The person that we could run away to knowing we would be safe.
I can’t really explain the way I felt, but going to his house, even now, feels like there’s something missing. 
It’s hard for me to place an emotion on it. 
Mostly grief, uh guilt because you know I didn’t see my grandfather before he passed away. Yeah.
I tried to push it away, but it was still sitting in the back of my head. 
I think it would’ve got to a point where I would’ve started like self-harm, even though I don’t like thinking about that, yeah.

When you get to a point where you feel like you’ve done all that you possibly could, fear starts to kick in.
Fear that you know um that they’re just going to lose the plot or you’re going to lose them. 
And it can get really hard, you know then you start sort of judging yourself.
Looking at your own inadequacies, like you’re not good enough to be a parent.
Um, it can be quite hard and I think in amongst it all when it gets to that point, 
you spend a lot of time trying to show on the outside that that’s not how you feel.
So you still have to walk around with the brave face, even though the brain is just going “oh my god, oh my god, what am I going to do next?”
After her grandfather passed away, I mean I wouldn’t say that she was a very confident and open child before he passed away, but she definitely went a little bit darker.
Um, after he passed and then of course I think it was a year later his wife passed away. 
So that was another huge toll on all of them including her. 


Manutioriori smiling in front of a teal background with Māori designs on it, she's designed as an anime character inspired by Katara from Avatar: The Last Airbender.

Talking to your parents/carers might be scary, but for Manutioriori, telling someone about how she was feeling was a big relief. 

Discover how Manutioriori found relief and support by opening up to her parents about her feelings. her story serves as a reminder that you are not alone in your struggles and seeking help is a brave step towards healing. 

Manutioriori's Story Part 2 | The Lowdown Aotearoa 

Manutioriori's Story - Part 2

Opening up to my mum about how I felt was a struggle. 
I was scared she wouldn’t know what to do with me or what to say. 
I even thought she would push it all away and tell me to just harden up. 
I usually would just like bottle it up 
Like to me showing grief or sadness, I thought it was weak. 
My grandfather was like a very strong man. 
Yeah I didn’t want to show my weakness to other people. 
Yeah, I just wanted to be strong like him 

I wouldn’t say that she had completely shut down and we weren’t having any conversations.
But there were more regular conversations that were ‘I can’t talk to you about it, I can’t explain how I’m feeling'; I can only tell you what I’m feeling’. 
No matter what tactics I tried, and it’s not like I have a basket full of tactics.
So the tactics that I had, as I was trying them out, that was all I was getting. 
She just couldn’t explain what was going on; it was just ‘I’m feeling this, I can’t talk to you about it anymore’.

Mum made me join the mental health course at Te Kaha O Te Rangatahi, where I met Matt. 
Initially, I didn’t want to do the course because I thought they would be like therapy sessions.
The sessions were filled with laughter and just straight vibes. 
It was a great experience. 
The most important thing I learnt from the course is that not all mental health programmes are negative, just like they are in films. 
It was nice to open up to a group of strangers. 
It was also nice to hear the boys in our group open up, because it is not often that you see or hear boys open up about their mental health. 


The first thing I would say that I noticed is that she started talking more. 
She wasn’t hiding as much in her room. 
I wouldn’t say we went from her not talking to instantly she was telling me everything, but it was small steps, you know. 
She could explain to me slowly why she was feeling the way that she was or she was talking to me about things that she would talk about in the sessions with Matt you know. 
That was sort of the biggest thing was that she started talking and started opening up.

I was scared I might do something to myself so I started so I started properly talking to my mum about how I felt and telling her if I was having a bad day and needed space. 
We of course talked about the bad days I was having and it felt nice to be able to talk to my mum about my mental health and just ranting to her, doing this created a well-needed bond with her.
I was tired of not talking to someone so it was good to finally have someone that I know won’t judge me. 
I remember there was this one time me and my sisters were really struggling after he’d passed and we were upset at my grandfather.

My mum decided to pack us all up and we went off to Taupiri to go yell at him because that was a coping thing for us. 
We couldn‘t physically yell at him but it was still a bit therapeutic sitting there just yelling at him in our heads. 
At one point when we were there I felt like he was there with us it felt like his presence was there and that was really nice.
I’m still working on my mental health but I’m pretty sure everyone is the same. 
My relationship with my mum is so much better than it used to be. 
My relationship with my brother and family grew stronger throughout this whole journey. 
I’ve started properly coping with my mental health. 
I also use photography as another way to cope and started watching anime. 

I think that she is doing really well. 
I mean, life is never perfect. 
Challenge is always going to come her way, but she talks about things. 
She’s like “oh mum what do you think I should do in this situation?” you know so we definitely talk. 
I’m really happy at the fact that she, so far, is comfortable to talk to me about anything that is going on in her brain. 
Whatever she feels is affecting her and changing the way that she’s feeling,
she’s comfortable enough to talk to me. 
And that’s a huge achievement compared to where she was before she started the programme and started her little journey. 

I was expecting her to like, um, push me away and not want to talk about it. 
But she was really open to talking more about it and making sure I was okay.
Mine and my mums relationship is way better than it used to be only because I talk to her more. 
My mum's like my best friend; I tell her everything. 

I think I haven’t got it down to a tee.
You know, I’m learning every day with every new problem that gets thrown at me. I’m learning. 
It feels good to be on the other side. 
One thing I probably wish I had have done better at the time would have been to talk to people about how I was feeling. 
As time has gone by, I suppose I’ve learnt that just as much as they’re learning from being born to walking and going to school, parents are learning too. 


Three dancers standing in front of a darkened screen with the title wording above them.

Welcome to your Lowdown. A place to express, create and learn about your own mental wellbeing. 

Welcome tothe Lowdown. A place where you can express, create and learn about mental wellbeing. 

Your Lowdown | The Lowdown Aotearoa 

Your Lowdown

I've spent so long trying to right my wrongs 
With every line spit a new envisionment of a poem 
Guess that's what I get for trying to fix all this on my own 
Like I'm tripping on emotions trying to move on alone 
But even that depends still 
I really 
Spend so long trying to right my wrongs 
And that I try write and recite
A stutter of the tongue they come out short
A product of pay tolls
My shortcomings only raise and my rage told me
And my emotions are still trying to catch up sometime
And destiny still hasn’t got that time rolled in
That escapade slowly fades forwards
Or I misplayed, treating my heartbreaks like an art form 
On display, 
waiting on my reign like a downpour 
And this may lead to me portraying a dark horse 
Try to get it up the right way, 
I was raised in the south, poor 
Life's a fight or that's just something I'm told 
Keep your head down and learn how to roll with the blows 
And only punch up if you aim for the throat 
Cos you will get rocked just for thinking you're bold 
So give me OSCARS, my performance was impeccable 
Became a wordsmith to keep crying out of my schedule 
Followed in footsteps now fresh prints are undetectable 
My trauma being plated... only because I made it all digestable 
Kept it a G
I couldn’t come up with the pesos
I’m blessed that babyfaces kept my fire lit
Been through more than two L’s
Yet J has taught me how to keep my cool
Music melded my mana made mafagafaga
I take a break
Take a breath with no hope in it
Made so many poems I think I destroyed my own image 
Disconnect from all my trauma so I can cope with it 
Now I can't feel sad the same because I wrote with it 
My mental state messing up the state of this house
Home. Roof. Rental Space
And with a rugged rough roof
Everything under that lays stays cold
Though sometime me and my mental race 
Is often paced slow
Flow switch when I'm most withered, don't reach out 
Xanny'll go phantom and ghost it, 
I freak out 
But then I'll make a poetry post with it and geek out 
Funny how spoken word is the only time that I speak out 

I’ve spent so long trying to heal
But all I can do is seal my emotions in an ongoing wheel
storing it all up hoping time will steal
the pain away.
 I’m a healer 
But not for myself 
cause the Fa’a Sāmoa way 
says service to others will make everything okay.
So maybe today I’ll help someone find their way 
Cause maybe if I pay
it forward I’ll be met halfway 
by the smiles I see on faces everywhere.
But I’m uncertain cause 
I’ve fallen into a dark pattern of people pleasing 
where being satisfied by applause is the closest, I get to feeling affection.
I wanna feel affection 
maybe that’s all I ever wanna feel
just real
love 
and after a day of hard shove 
I want to fall into the same arms that birthed me 
and be reminded 
it’s okay
try again 
rewrite this poem without the traumatic experience of self-betrayal 
replace it with the way you are dramatic and unapologetic in your own self portrayal.
Because the only way to overcome hate
and break through that mental gate 
is to love.

A man in a Los Angeles cap and denim jacket sits in the centre of the screen, talking to the camera.

Allister shares his powerful story of surviving tough times with his mental health and circumstances in his life.

All-star shares his powerful story of surviving tough times with his mental health and circumstances in his life. 

Mana Pasifika: Allister's Journey with Mental Health | The Lowdown Aotearoa 

Allister's Journey with Mental Health

I've been fortunate enough to pioneer hip hop dance in New Zealand
with Dziah Dance Crew
which was back in 2003
we were the first team to come back from
the Hip Hop Championships in Los Angeles at the time
Now we have like, 12, 13 crews going every single year,
which is, which is a bit of a buzz
but, at the time, we were just trying to make a name for ourselves
and very fortunate to go from Dziah to then start
our team that we have now, which is Prestige Dance Crew.
We got sponsored by Lee, by Nike
we got sponsored by Adidas for a few years
which was mind-blowing for a kid that dropped out of school
and I didn’t even have Adidas shoes myself
and now to be considered the All Blacks of dance in 2006
it was too much for myself.
We also didn’t have mentors at that time,
we were getting gigs left, right and centre
like, people wanting us here, which was really cool,
but we didn’t know what to do with it
I’m gutted, but I'm also about trusting in the process
and understanding that life takes you where
you need to go but,
in terms of capitalizing on that moment
I guess the learning for me was to understand
that, moving forward now,
but we've had to do lots of learning,
lots and lots and lots of learning.
I'm also a secondary teacher, been teaching out at
Manurewa High School for the last 5 years.
There’s been lots of like, in terms of just myself personally,
the wellbeing stuff, in terms of what I was going through
dance, what saved my life
without dance then I would have, I guess
been the stereotype, the stigma, the what everyone said,
what everyone says of South Auckland kids.
But fortunate that it didn’t happen, it didn’t go that way,
I stuck to dance,
I was fortunate enough to have the right people around me at the right times.
Its a difficult subject man, its difficult because,
everybody has their own personal view on it,
and just for myself like,
over the last 3 years I've been dealing with it intensely
so intense focus, really understanding it for myself
trying to unpack it, speaking to the people I need to that I need to speak that have,
the skillsets to be able to give me the frames and the understandings
but still a lot of it is you as an individual still kind of journeying through so,
thirty years of trauma for myself,
and I’m only 35, like three decades from when I was 5,
to now be 35, its, even though I was doing significant, cool, exciting things
inside I felt like I was in a jail,
inside I didn’t feel anyone cared,
inside I didn’t feel anyone loved,
but then I was purely on my own personal journey.
From physical, to mental, to sexual,
all of those sort of abusive behaviours that kind of happened to me was,
something that, really effected me as an individual,
I’m just grateful that there were other family members that,
even though they knew I was,
I was kind of crazy, I was going through like,
emotional rollercoasters, I was up and down as a kid,
I moved between so many different homes
because I was considered, crazy.
Dance came through, it helped, definitely saved my life
I'm just trying to focus on me so I can be, I guess, the best version
for my boys, for my wife, for my colleagues, for the teams I'm apart of,
You know, just to be on and so that people that see us
they understand that, yes we aren’t perfect,
but we can do whatever we want.
I just think if people can focus on the day,
especially if your in it, like if its raw, if its,
and you haven’t been able to speak to it,
talk to someone, definitely talk to someone,
reach out, speak to someone that’s close to you
to ask for help, for some organizations.
Please, that’s what I would offer, is to speak to someone.


In the middle of the day, a man sits on a chair in front of a pond, staring directly at the camera. Holding his hands over his chest in an emotive way.

Expressing ourselves is one way that we are able to reimagine our Wellbeing together. A creative piece written by Grace Iwashita-Taylor, performed by Allister Ngawati-Salaivao with music from Brandon Haru.

Expressing ourselves is one way that we are able to reimagine our wellbeing together. Enjoy a creative piece written by Grace Iwashita-Taylor and performed by All-star Ngawati-Salaivao with music by Brandon Haru.

Mana Pasifika: Wellbeing Reimagined | The Lowdown Aotearoa 

Wellbeing Reimagined

My wellbeing meets the world shifting
tilting, flips me sideways into unknown waters
confronts the rupturing, to known surroundings
throws me headfirst into a knowingness
My wellbeing has hard conversations
that bite the tongue of truth
heavy chest, betraying controlled breaths
a collection of rejections wet on my cheeks
My wellbeing is resilient
My wellbeing don’t need to prove nothing
Responds to indigenous healing
as a cup of tea after a mirimiri
Requires rest, needs a gentle place to rest its head
curls up in loved ones comfort
reimagines itself in the eye of the storm
is a world unbreaking itself
to re-remembering
My wellbeing is rebuilding balance
is Hauora
bravely finds all the scattered pieces
then raises its hand to ask for help
turns the bruising into a journey of healing
bold and brave 
and sometimes hard, but is learning
I am so much more than my hurt
My wellbeing breaks into generational trauma
knowing it is a taonga
to be passed down to my children’s children
is part of my nafa, whakapapa
My wellbeing maintains my whakapapa
is worthy, is seen, is loved
my wellbeing is love
is love reimagined
my wellbeing is your wellbeing
is reimagined wellbeing together
He tirohanga anamata

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